My Soul’s purpose is to help Neurodivergent people like me or people who may with no good luck of their own develop a brain disorder, or suffer such a terrible life event that they enter our realm and may need guidance.

Me? I was broken. I was damaged. But, it did not happen all at once. It started with a crack. To this day, I still do not know the origin of the fracture, the fault line that slowly tore me apart and left me in pieces.

I spent a lifetime trying to figure out when, how, what, where, and who? But, perhaps it was just simple chemistry. No more. It does not matter. I assembled the disparate parts and reunited them and that piece, that missing piece, the piece I keep going into the dark to find, where that missing piece, where it used to be is where the light gets in.

The light illuminated me within and then throughout and purged and cleansed and purified and lifted me up and onto a higher plane of awareness and experience. What makes music beautiful is not so much the notes as the spaces, the rests and pauses which allows us to enjoy the stillness and the emptiness so that the sound, the light may enter and occupy and enshroud the fullness of and the magnification of the All, the Divine and Universal Mind of Being.

I am grateful that I have survived, that I may help others. Because I have contemplated ending my life every day for more years than I can remember. But, now I embrace each moment. I wake each morning energized and encouraged that come what may I can handle anything, and find the positive in the negativity of a situation. See the love amongst the fearful moments and the ray of light through the darkness. I am duty-bound to take what I have learned and to help others find their way out of the shadows of oblivion and step into the light and to find their gifts, treasures, and strengths free of ego so that they may live a meaningful and purposeful life.

There can be no shadows without light and no strength without struggle and change without challenge. I believe that happiness and good can be found in the purity of love while we seek our truth. Evil is found in willful ignorance and turning a blind eye to, the absence of, and a distortion of the truth. It is for all of us to find our way through the thicket of lies, fear, hatred that is Hell, so that we may value love, light, and the truth as we deliver ourselves from the bondage of the ego.

Without the trial and tribulations that we enter along the dark highway of awakening we would never know that we are beings of light and the pilgrims of Eternity.



Freedom of responsibility is the key, not Freedom from…



Anxiety is the space or state between freedom and responsibility. If we run from our responsibilities we are not free, we are doomed. For sure our conscience and quilt will catch up to us and pull and drag us down.

So, we must be who we are and do what we must yet manage the difficulty. That feeling that causes us stress and puts us on high alert, causing us to focus on what we cannot change in that moment. What we can change is how we think and feel about that responsibility that is coming up, on the horizon, that looms over us and dooms us to worry and sleepless nights.

When we have the freedom to choose, what we do and how we act the choice is always ours. We can let it affect our health, our behavior, our attention, and intention or we can put things in their proper perspective and reframe our way of thinking and do what we can with what we have at the moment to do our best.

When we are thinking about the future in a worrisome negative light, we end up retroactively start to regret the past. Think about it? Don’t we get sucked into the future scenarios that haven’t even happened yet and then start to turn them around and then regret something we did, say, or think that led us to the situation that we are contemplating.

When we think about the future we end us regretting the past. Usually, I believe this is the case. Personally, when I consider something troublesome that I must do, I most often think – How did I let this happen. Take credit debt for instance. If the habit of overspending money that is not yours and that you must pay back at a high rate of interest is an issue that you have to take responsibility for, you regret your overspending and a bad habit of being a shop acholic.

If we can merge our inherent freedom with our responsibility, then that space or state of the anguish of future events disappear. Sounds impossible. How can I do that? One may ask? Well, if we are forever in the moment and practice good habits and are mindful of who we are, and our environment and our behavior, we can be and take responsibility for all things in the moment and achieve equanimity. Which is dealing with all things in a calm and balanced way.

It’s possible but we must do the work. Take responsibility for all aspects of our life, show up, and do the work necessary to achieve peace and tranquility and live a virtue-driven life in this loud and at times chaotic world.




And, the perils of self-pity.


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If we allow ourselves to get run down and deplete our vital life force we feel empty. We are more prone to lose confidence and doubt our resolve. I know this for a fact because when I am feeling run down, overtired, or even just hungry, I want to dump everything and change direction.

When this happens, it is just a hop and skip and jump away from worrying about the future. I lose focus and direction. I get stressed and I start to be concerned that I will never get anything done.

Full catastrophe mode is not far behind and a sense of hopelessness may enter the picture and obscure any thought of growth, grit, gains or glory. Then it is just a stone’s throw away from self-pity. A lapse in confidence and we see ourselves circling the drain into oblivion.

That is why mindset and mindfulness and vigilance is so important. Anxiety is that place or space between freedom and responsibility. If we think about the future we end up regretting the past. It’s a vicious circle, and as we cycle through these fruitless exercises we run through our reserves of willpower and resilience.

If can stay present and realize we have the freedom we desire at any given moment via free will to choose how we think, feel and will what we desire. We must remember that the multiplicity of environments and people and experiences that we encounter each day will challenge us and will demand that we rise to meet them.

It is up to us to remain full of positive thoughts about the now and not to feel overwhelmed and to show up not give up when we feel our tank start to empty. We need to practice self-care because if we don’t take care of our own needs and energy we cannot bring the light, love, and brilliance to our family, friends and team members.

Recently, I am letting the Universe take the wheel. I don’t pull or push too hard and I yield if the energy is not right and I trust my intuition and I practice gratitude even for the struggle and forgive myself daily for my shortcomings and I constantly check my attitude to see if it needs adjusting.

I work to stay energized and free of judgment and keep my mind, heart, and self-open to all possibilities because I don’t want to be a depleted, hallow, whiny underachiever.