THE MISSION – WELLBEING

ONWARDS, INWARDS, UPWARDS.

BY: JEFF TURNBULL

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My Soul’s purpose is to help Neurodivergent people like me or people who may with no good luck of their own develop a brain disorder, or suffer such a terrible life event that they enter our realm and may need guidance.

Me? I was broken. I was damaged. But, it did not happen all at once. It started with a crack. To this day, I still do not know the origin of the fracture, the fault line that slowly tore me apart and left me in pieces.

I spent a lifetime trying to figure out when, how, what, where, and who? But, perhaps it was just simple chemistry. No more. It does not matter. I assembled the disparate parts and reunited them and that piece, that missing piece, the piece I keep going into the dark to find, where that missing piece, where it used to be is where the light gets in.

The light illuminated me within and then throughout and purged and cleansed and purified and lifted me up and onto a higher plane of awareness and experience. What makes music beautiful is not so much the notes as the spaces, the rests and pauses which allows us to enjoy the stillness and the emptiness so that the sound, the light may enter and occupy and enshroud the fullness of and the magnification of the All, the Divine and Universal Mind of Being.

I am grateful that I have survived, that I may help others. Because I have contemplated ending my life every day for more years than I can remember. But, now I embrace each moment. I wake each morning energized and encouraged that come what may I can handle anything, and find the positive in the negativity of a situation. See the love amongst the fearful moments and the ray of light through the darkness. I am duty-bound to take what I have learned and to help others find their way out of the shadows of oblivion and step into the light and to find their gifts, treasures, and strengths free of ego so that they may live a meaningful and purposeful life.

There can be no shadows without light and no strength without struggle and change without challenge. I believe that happiness and good can be found in the purity of love while we seek our truth. Evil is found in willful ignorance and turning a blind eye to, the absence of, and a distortion of the truth. It is for all of us to find our way through the thicket of lies, fear, hatred that is Hell, so that we may value love, light, and the truth as we deliver ourselves from the bondage of the ego.

Without the trial and tribulations that we enter along the dark highway of awakening we would never know that we are beings of light and the pilgrims of Eternity.

 

KNOW THYSELF – DO YOU?

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The first tenet in my – Majestic Fivefold Way, is Know Thyself. Because if you don’t.. how will the rest of us.

BY JEFF TURNBULL

I have discovered on my quest to wellness, the underlying principle that finally, I delivered me here, is knowing who I am. Self-examination is very important. On an intelligential, emotional and physical level, we must be able to recognize where we are and where we need to be.

If we want to be healthier we must know our behavior when it comes to what we eat, how we eat, and our level of activity. If we know that we stress eat and load up on carbs then we must be aware of this fact. If when we are stressed we tend to not eat, we must be aware of this fact. Everyone is different, so we need to know ourselves and our tendencies.

This even more important moreover if we have a health challenge like diabetes or IBS. If we have a mental disorder it is important to eat well, perhaps omit caffeine from our diet, and be mindful if we vomit or have diarrhea. Because if we lose bodily fluids we lose medication and our therapeutic levels will drop. We need to stay at these levels if we are to stabilize and get better.

It goes without saying, but I will state my case anyhow, that a positive state of mind will get us a long way in this world. So, if you know your mind you will be able to know when you shadow thinking intervenes and pushes you or drags you down. Be the watcher of your thoughts. Practice mindfulness to be aware of your train of thought so that you do not go off the rails. For example – I know that one of my shadow enemies is to complain. So, when I hear my tone of voice change or I get animated – I check myself before I wreck myself.

The same goes for your emotional state. If you have triggers that you can recognize that incense or irritate you be aware of these before you get swept away. It is so easy to lose oneself in a trying moment. If you do, stop yourself and then analyze what got you there. Was it a reminder of an experience you had that left an indelible mark on your psyche? If so, take the opportunity to work with it. If not in the moment when you get a chance. It will give you a chance to cleanse yourself of some of your emotional baggage. When I recommend these practices – that is what they are practices. That means it takes work and vigilance.

More than anything when you begin to be aware and mindful and you find things that you don’t like or you find disturbing remember to forgive yourself. This is very important in the process. I have recently started journaling forgiveness then end it with a little touch of gratitude.

I recently had an epiphany – it was that I am not a businessman, entrepreneur, or life coach or expert of any kind. I am a writer, poet, artist, singer-songwriter, single parent, good son (I like to think so) I humanitarian, good friend and colleague.  And you know what? I am ok with that!

Be Mindful of Your Thoughts.

BY: JEFF TURNBULL

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There are four thoughtful practices we can apply to our thinking to help us to be more mindful and present.  They can be applied to what we think about the external world, the world at large; our interior Heart Mind world, and how we think and feel about ourselves.

  1. Stop thinking habitual negative thoughts: i.e. “I am never going to get anywhere in life”. This stinking thinking does not help.  Most of our internal dialogue – “The Critique” is negative.  Be Mindful of the habit of always seeing the proverbial glass as half empty.  Be grateful that you have a glass at all.  When you are able to monitor your thoughts and catch a negative thought arise, compassionately hit the pause button, and try to see the inverse or opposite, turn it around or upside down.  Instead of thinking that you are not “… going to get anywhere in life”.  Think or say to yourself instead – “You know, I do not need to go anywhere, because I am fine with the right here, the right now.  And, with every infinite moment, there is an opportunity to experience the best that I Am.  I have the seed of perfection incarnate”.

Attitude is a matter of Altitude.  If we can see the truth in the moment from the best possible vantage point, we can correct our coordinates to be right where we are, and be Aware and be Present.

Showing up and bringing our best self, is just a matter of Being without doing.  Be Mindful of your Thoughts and See the beauty of the World bloom.

 

  1. Stop thinking or creating new negative thoughts. “What Ifs” will only lead to catastrophe thinking, and who needs that?  We have enough to occupy our thoughts and feelings.  Awareness is what is needed.  When we begin to assemble worst case scenarios we need to hit the pause button and not be pulled into a drama that is fictitious and unsupported by facts.  If we are mindful of our inner mindscape that which is under control – our feelings and thoughts, there is no reason to wonder – “What If”.  The sky is not falling – we are rising, spread our wings and our Heart-Mind to rise and embrace any difficulties.

Create your world by imagining a world where love and compassion is the norm.  See the best in others and the opportunities in the challenges that life presents.

Reach for the sky and live amongst the clouds while your feet are firmly planted on the ground.  The Stoics have an exercise of Negative Visualization, which is imaging the worst, so if the occasion ever arises they know what it looks like, and are better to deal and control what they can control.

I say if a new negative thought comes to mind, let it pass through the gates of impermanence and say to yourself – “I shall not be moved from this beautiful by phantoms or ghosts.  I am the seed of perfection and I am in the fertile soil of all that is.”

  1. Continue to think those positive thoughts- “Today is a Great Day.”, “I got this!”, “That wasn’t as hard as I thought.” Since most of our self-talk is negative, we need to intervene in and for our own self-interest and behalf. If we thought about it, we could see a lot of our thoughts are positive; especially where there are meaning and purpose in our lives’. We love our children, our family, and friends and we want and think positive thoughts of and for them all the time.  What we need to do is broaden that out to include everything and everybody.  No, small task right?  If we bring awareness to our thoughts, and if we can catch ourselves as we think positive thoughts and try to bring that positive energy to a previous negative thought and try to recalibrate how we thought about that negative situation and see it in a new light, with a new feeling.  Take that positive “I got this!” to the negative “I will never get this right.” Try to sow the seed of possibility in the difficulty and realize that you do not have to believe everything you think, especially and foremost the negative.

Water the good seeds and good will grow.  Pull the weeds and plant the new more fruitful thoughts, and be mindful of your thoughts.

We must be aware and be mindful our thoughts, if not us then who?  I am by nature an optimist, but I get frustrated with what I Belief to be the Sure thing, the Given, but guess what, life does work that way.  There will always be curveballs and unforeseen circumstances, get over it.

Today a lost my mind laughing thinking of something that frustrated me yesterday.  I saw it for what it was – Life.  If we can bring that kind of awareness, and mindfulness to every moment we would be a lot better off.  It just takes being present.

 

  1. Create New Positive thoughts! Try to see things in a different light and from a new perspective.  It is easier to create new and exciting thoughts when we can value what and where we are.  But, before we do that we have to understand what and where we are before we can appreciate it, value it, how else can we really unless we can see what it looks like.  Creations of any kind require vision.  If you are able to create a holographic 360-degree image in your mind’s eye all the better, but if not try to feel what an amazing experience like being in the room when your child is born, or climbing Everest, or any other wonderful accomplishment feels like.  Fore, it is not just knowing, or seeing, that matters, but the feeling component.  To get to the point where we can create a new positive thought need not be a challenge, but may require the practice of not practicing, non-doing.  Opening your mind, your heart, and allow yourself to be vulnerable and to reach within whilst we reach towards others and the moon and the stars and feel the wonder that being alive, and just being can afford.

We can create a new positive thought by just gazing into a breathtaking sunset and then remembering to breathe and envision that we are that sunset we may think – “I am colorful and translucent, and span the horizon of all that is.  I am an inspiring vista and an expression of the beauty of nature and all her glory.  I am all this and so much more.”

If we could create a new positive thought every day, we all would be able to extinguish the black thoughts of negative thinking, enliven hearts, minds, spirits and create a new way of being.  We would foster in each of us the best, and the brightest that Humanity has to offer – Love, Compassion, and Caring.

 

 

 

 

Forgiveness as a perpetual state of Tranquility.

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Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.
—Nelson Mandela

I am sorry.  These three words will help to calm troubled waters, uncomfortable moments, and to bring the truth out of the shadows of fear and misunderstanding and into the light of awareness and mindfulness.

But, before we forgive or can be forgiven, we must understand that we are not perfect.  We are but pilgrims of eternity learning as we go.  And, before we can be understood, we must first understand.  We must wipe the slate clean by forgiving ourselves of any wrong thought, word, or deed; that has brought harm or suffering to anyone, especially ourselves.

Ninety percent of self-talk is negative.  Why are we so hard on ourselves?  If you believe in sin, then perhaps you think you have it coming.  So, as we traverse the rocky road of our pilgrimage, we sin, ask for forgiveness, and continue on our merry way.  If we repent then we are free to error again.  What is the point?

If we live a life of Virtue, Mindfulness, and wisdom, we need not concern ourselves what is right or wrong.  Because if we forgive ourselves with compassion we need not worry about the poison of greed, hatred, and delusion.

Forgive everything in every moment, be in every moment.  If we can live in a state of forgiveness there need not be suffering, and futile clinging.  Relinquish the idea that you must always be doing, try being… You don’t need to go with it or flow with it.  Start every moment where you are, at the moment.

Say to yourself in your heart of hearts – May all Beings be forgiven, forgiving, and have compassion for their selves and for all others.

Thank you, I forgive you I am sorry.

 

BY: JEFF TURNBULL

Acceptance: Work with what you have,

Or, pay the price!

By: JEFF TURNBULL

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The Stoic principle that tells us – Recognize what is under your control and what isn’t under your control.  Don’t worry about what isn’t under your control – is acceptance.  It is not giving in or rolling over, but accepting what is.  To not accept what is, is pure ignorance.

Not accepting what is, is being closed off.  Accepting the circumstances and working within the reality that we find ourselves in creates opportunities and novelty where we can challenge ourselves and do to learn new things so that we may grow and expand in consciousness and in being.

If I never accepted anything, I would always be recapitulating what I already knew and understood.  By accepting the unknown, or what is, a tension is created, a spark of inspiration awaits me where I am still in uncertainty and still in the possibilities.

I accept myself for who I am.  I accept you for who you are.  I accept that there is the pain in my past, present, and future, but I do not accept suffering, because there at the moment there is a choice.  I accept pain, death, uncertainty, and imperfection.  But, where there is a choice to do, act, behave better, I choose to accept that I can do, act, and behave better.

To love myself, I have to accept myself for who I am.  But, I can accept or choose to try, think, and rise above what I can accept.  To not accept myself or you for who I and you are, is to turn away from the truth, for the truth can be denied, but that does not mean that the truth is not the truth.

To accept hatred, violence, indignation is to accept a lie.  Evil is a distortion of the truth and when we accept evil into our hearts it changes our minds, our character and this distorts how we act, think, speak and behave.  Then we turn away from the truth.  The truth is the truth.  An opinion, a belief, conviction, these are not the truth.  The truth does not sit on a scale or have many shades or variants.

The truth is a reality that has no opposite, the only reality there is.  There are no little white truths.  The truth is a constant it is either the truth or it is not.  A lie is not the opposite of the truth.  It is like the universe, it is ever expanding and if you cannot realize the truth you may think that is contracting, but it is you trying to objectify or embrace what is and only what is… the truth.

If we are able to open our hearts and minds then we would be free to accept almost anything.  But, we hold so damn tight to what we think is right, with all of our might we cannot even begin to accept a viable alternative, let alone a radical new approach.  Mired in our mediocrity, we slog along with our blinders on.

Will the truth set you free?  We don’t know if we do not strive earnestly towards such a wonderful goal.  The road to truth has many barriers.  The most challenging to remove is our self.  Often times we stand in our own way, blocking the possibility of change and growth.

Accept acceptance and set aside conventional thinking, stick your head in the box out of the box, it does not matter empirically what matters is that we don’t cut ourselves off to what might be – reevaluation, revision, resolution, and more than anything receptivity – the lost art of trying something on for size, running it up a flag pole and taking it for a test drive.  How do we know until we try?

So many of us are stuck in our ways and rage against the dying of the light; but how do we know what awaits us in the far reaches of the darkness unless we have the courage to take that first step and try.

Question: What if your trusted family Doctor told you that you had three months to live, could you accept it as the Truth, or would you get a second opinion and refuse the diagnosis even if there was irrefutable evidence and proof that you will not survive the inevitable?

 Answer:

True1:  I would accept the diagnosis and accept and embrace the fact I am mortal and be grateful for the days I had and make my peace with what is.

 True2:  I will fight whatever it is and I refuse to lay down without a fight, even though I AM a devout believer and I know that heaven awaits me with all its glory.

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THE WAY OF THE SHADOW WARRIOR.

 

 

I AM – A SHADOW WARRIOR

I have always considered myself lucky. I say that I have lived a charmed life for a reason. That is why I feel I must share my story. To live the ancient Greek maxim-“Know Thyself” is not as easy as it sounds. In addition, if one is not careful it can become an obsession and lead to a narcissistic black hole.

As a child, I was oblivious of the difficult years to come. However, I had my struggles. Looking back when I asked my father if I could talk to someone about what and how I was feeling and I was told that I had him and my mother to talk too, I see an opportunity early on where my life may have had a different trajectory. I say this to all parents who have little children who ask big questions to be mindful of their soul’s longing for answers to uncertainty and ambiguity.

It was not until I became a teenager and shared my heart with another that what would later be my lifelong nemesis began to present itself. When the seasons changed, I would find myself weeping uncontrollably. We would sit in my car and I would sob inconsolably for no apparent reason.

A few years later, I would be running amok with reckless abandon a risk to others and myself. I was dangerous to know and especially to love. My parents threw me out of the house and I ended up crashing at friends’ houses and woke up wherever I passed out. I partied hard, could not keep a job. I was lost, angry at the world and more importantly alone. My friends did not think I would make it past the age of twenty-one. I am now fifty-five.

I hope that by sharing my story of how I finally found a way out of the hell where I merely existed, if that, that I might help others. The hell I refer to was one of a chemical imbalance in my brain, learned helplessness, and a slew of bad habits. I am now at peace. I am whole. I am healthy

It is now my mission in life to help others. For those who do not have the skills and the tools or the wherewithal to change their lives’. To transform their lives’ into a life they have only thus far imagined.

It has been a long journey. One in which I would not change a thing. If I did, I would not be who I am today. I do not know what tomorrow holds; however, now I am able to deal with whatever may present itself. Life is an adventure, embrace the struggle, learn from it, and move on to live a whole and healthy life.

JEFF TURNBULL