Do you feel like a nobody?

BE SOMEBODY

“One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.”

Mother Teresa

Do you feel like a nobody? Like not one-person cares if you live or die? Or, listens to you? Why is that? Do you love and value yourself?

The way we care for ourselves and treat ourselves sets the example how other people communicate and interact with us. I saw a pregnant woman smoking the other day; I was aghast that she was not only harming herself and her lungs but also the child she was carrying. No, judgment – just concern.

Our interior landscape has a way of being expressed to the outside environment. What we think is expressed in words and actions and what we feel at times can be conveyed by the look on our face. Remember our eyes are our windows to our soul and at times the mirror to others’. Our behavior will always give us away. It will tell the world – “I feel like crap today and I can’t stand myself please treat me accordingly.”

If you constantly demean yourself using self-deprecating humor, at some point I am going to start thinking you are just putting yourself down. Then my personal reaction would be to look for the good in you and try to reassure you that you have valuable attributes. But, others may not be so kind. They may just add fuel to the fire and make the situation worse. Then you will be a nobody to everyone, even to those who gave you life, call you friend and sibling.

If you smoke when you are pregnant or binge drink every day and have a terrible diet you may not be aware that your values and how you feel about yourself are on display to the world. But, more importantly, you are showing no concern for your sovereignty of Self.

If we do not love our self, we have a problem. If we do not care for our self, we will make the problem worse. If we do not value our self, it is because we do not understand our self. If that is the case, then we must go back to knowing our self to be able to accept our self so that we may love our self.

Before we can move onto healing our self and then onto sharing our self, WE must truly and unequivocally love our self.

So, Know, Accept, Love, Heal, and then Share thyself whilst being mindful and meditating on areas of concern while we forgive and offer gratitude for our blessings and struggles in kind.

Onwards, Inwards, Upwards.

Freedom or darkness, choose!

“Courage is the capacity to meet the Anxiety which arises as one achieves Freedom.” Rollo May

BY: JEFF TURNBULL

 We have a choice in how our world evolves. We can get involved or sit on the sidelines. Most people sit on the sidelines in their own little bubble bedecked with their proclivities and desires and if they can do what they want when they want to, you usually do not hear from them. Try and take something away and there will be hell to pay.

Now, the people to exhort some courage when they are not sure, but they know something must be done realize before they can affect any change or make any difference they must first change what they can – so they change their selves.

The only way to conquer or diminish the darkness of other people or the world is the conquer the darkness within and champion the light and the virtue within. Follow that Golden Impulse that seeks to find its higher self and to live a good life always taken humanity and the common good into their awareness of what and what not to do, think, feel or behave.

We all know right from wrong. Its what is deemed acceptable that is troubling. If belittling other people becomes accepted especially by the most powerful then we can see the trend line descend to make it acceptable for everyone. And all the work our parents did to teach us manners and to be polite goes right out the window.

We have a choice. We can find our moral center our core of truth and compassion and not allow the new normal to take hold and let this behavior continue.

The only power or control we have is what we think, feel, or behave. Me I chose freedom from the darkness. So, the work continues. I look for insight within so that I may share my light, love, empathy, and compassion for myself and the world.

 

 

THE MISSION – WELLBEING

ONWARDS, INWARDS, UPWARDS.

BY: JEFF TURNBULL

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My Soul’s purpose is to help Neurodivergent people like me or people who may with no good luck of their own develop a brain disorder, or suffer such a terrible life event that they enter our realm and may need guidance.

Me? I was broken. I was damaged. But, it did not happen all at once. It started with a crack. To this day, I still do not know the origin of the fracture, the fault line that slowly tore me apart and left me in pieces.

I spent a lifetime trying to figure out when, how, what, where, and who? But, perhaps it was just simple chemistry. No more. It does not matter. I assembled the disparate parts and reunited them and that piece, that missing piece, the piece I keep going into the dark to find, where that missing piece, where it used to be is where the light gets in.

The light illuminated me within and then throughout and purged and cleansed and purified and lifted me up and onto a higher plane of awareness and experience. What makes music beautiful is not so much the notes as the spaces, the rests and pauses which allows us to enjoy the stillness and the emptiness so that the sound, the light may enter and occupy and enshroud the fullness of and the magnification of the All, the Divine and Universal Mind of Being.

I am grateful that I have survived, that I may help others. Because I have contemplated ending my life every day for more years than I can remember. But, now I embrace each moment. I wake each morning energized and encouraged that come what may I can handle anything, and find the positive in the negativity of a situation. See the love amongst the fearful moments and the ray of light through the darkness. I am duty-bound to take what I have learned and to help others find their way out of the shadows of oblivion and step into the light and to find their gifts, treasures, and strengths free of ego so that they may live a meaningful and purposeful life.

There can be no shadows without light and no strength without struggle and change without challenge. I believe that happiness and good can be found in the purity of love while we seek our truth. Evil is found in willful ignorance and turning a blind eye to, the absence of, and a distortion of the truth. It is for all of us to find our way through the thicket of lies, fear, hatred that is Hell, so that we may value love, light, and the truth as we deliver ourselves from the bondage of the ego.

Without the trial and tribulations that we enter along the dark highway of awakening we would never know that we are beings of light and the pilgrims of Eternity.

 

KNOW THYSELF – DO YOU?

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The first tenet in my – Majestic Fivefold Way, is Know Thyself. Because if you don’t.. how will the rest of us.

BY JEFF TURNBULL

I have discovered on my quest to wellness, the underlying principle that finally, I delivered me here, is knowing who I am. Self-examination is very important. On an intelligential, emotional and physical level, we must be able to recognize where we are and where we need to be.

If we want to be healthier we must know our behavior when it comes to what we eat, how we eat, and our level of activity. If we know that we stress eat and load up on carbs then we must be aware of this fact. If when we are stressed we tend to not eat, we must be aware of this fact. Everyone is different, so we need to know ourselves and our tendencies.

This even more important moreover if we have a health challenge like diabetes or IBS. If we have a mental disorder it is important to eat well, perhaps omit caffeine from our diet, and be mindful if we vomit or have diarrhea. Because if we lose bodily fluids we lose medication and our therapeutic levels will drop. We need to stay at these levels if we are to stabilize and get better.

It goes without saying, but I will state my case anyhow, that a positive state of mind will get us a long way in this world. So, if you know your mind you will be able to know when you shadow thinking intervenes and pushes you or drags you down. Be the watcher of your thoughts. Practice mindfulness to be aware of your train of thought so that you do not go off the rails. For example – I know that one of my shadow enemies is to complain. So, when I hear my tone of voice change or I get animated – I check myself before I wreck myself.

The same goes for your emotional state. If you have triggers that you can recognize that incense or irritate you be aware of these before you get swept away. It is so easy to lose oneself in a trying moment. If you do, stop yourself and then analyze what got you there. Was it a reminder of an experience you had that left an indelible mark on your psyche? If so, take the opportunity to work with it. If not in the moment when you get a chance. It will give you a chance to cleanse yourself of some of your emotional baggage. When I recommend these practices – that is what they are practices. That means it takes work and vigilance.

More than anything when you begin to be aware and mindful and you find things that you don’t like or you find disturbing remember to forgive yourself. This is very important in the process. I have recently started journaling forgiveness then end it with a little touch of gratitude.

I recently had an epiphany – it was that I am not a businessman, entrepreneur, or life coach or expert of any kind. I am a writer, poet, artist, singer-songwriter, single parent, good son (I like to think so) I humanitarian, good friend and colleague.  And you know what? I am ok with that!

Forgiveness as a perpetual state of Tranquility.

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Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.
—Nelson Mandela

I am sorry.  These three words will help to calm troubled waters, uncomfortable moments, and to bring the truth out of the shadows of fear and misunderstanding and into the light of awareness and mindfulness.

But, before we forgive or can be forgiven, we must understand that we are not perfect.  We are but pilgrims of eternity learning as we go.  And, before we can be understood, we must first understand.  We must wipe the slate clean by forgiving ourselves of any wrong thought, word, or deed; that has brought harm or suffering to anyone, especially ourselves.

Ninety percent of self-talk is negative.  Why are we so hard on ourselves?  If you believe in sin, then perhaps you think you have it coming.  So, as we traverse the rocky road of our pilgrimage, we sin, ask for forgiveness, and continue on our merry way.  If we repent then we are free to error again.  What is the point?

If we live a life of Virtue, Mindfulness, and wisdom, we need not concern ourselves what is right or wrong.  Because if we forgive ourselves with compassion we need not worry about the poison of greed, hatred, and delusion.

Forgive everything in every moment, be in every moment.  If we can live in a state of forgiveness there need not be suffering, and futile clinging.  Relinquish the idea that you must always be doing, try being… You don’t need to go with it or flow with it.  Start every moment where you are, at the moment.

Say to yourself in your heart of hearts – May all Beings be forgiven, forgiving, and have compassion for their selves and for all others.

Thank you, I forgive you I am sorry.

 

BY: JEFF TURNBULL

THE WAY OF THE SHADOW WARRIOR.

 

 

I AM – A SHADOW WARRIOR

I have always considered myself lucky. I say that I have lived a charmed life for a reason. That is why I feel I must share my story. To live the ancient Greek maxim-“Know Thyself” is not as easy as it sounds. In addition, if one is not careful it can become an obsession and lead to a narcissistic black hole.

As a child, I was oblivious of the difficult years to come. However, I had my struggles. Looking back when I asked my father if I could talk to someone about what and how I was feeling and I was told that I had him and my mother to talk too, I see an opportunity early on where my life may have had a different trajectory. I say this to all parents who have little children who ask big questions to be mindful of their soul’s longing for answers to uncertainty and ambiguity.

It was not until I became a teenager and shared my heart with another that what would later be my lifelong nemesis began to present itself. When the seasons changed, I would find myself weeping uncontrollably. We would sit in my car and I would sob inconsolably for no apparent reason.

A few years later, I would be running amok with reckless abandon a risk to others and myself. I was dangerous to know and especially to love. My parents threw me out of the house and I ended up crashing at friends’ houses and woke up wherever I passed out. I partied hard, could not keep a job. I was lost, angry at the world and more importantly alone. My friends did not think I would make it past the age of twenty-one. I am now fifty-five.

I hope that by sharing my story of how I finally found a way out of the hell where I merely existed, if that, that I might help others. The hell I refer to was one of a chemical imbalance in my brain, learned helplessness, and a slew of bad habits. I am now at peace. I am whole. I am healthy

It is now my mission in life to help others. For those who do not have the skills and the tools or the wherewithal to change their lives’. To transform their lives’ into a life they have only thus far imagined.

It has been a long journey. One in which I would not change a thing. If I did, I would not be who I am today. I do not know what tomorrow holds; however, now I am able to deal with whatever may present itself. Life is an adventure, embrace the struggle, learn from it, and move on to live a whole and healthy life.

JEFF TURNBULL