Freedom or darkness, choose!

“Courage is the capacity to meet the Anxiety which arises as one achieves Freedom.” Rollo May

BY: JEFF TURNBULL

 We have a choice in how our world evolves. We can get involved or sit on the sidelines. Most people sit on the sidelines in their own little bubble bedecked with their proclivities and desires and if they can do what they want when they want to, you usually do not hear from them. Try and take something away and there will be hell to pay.

Now, the people to exhort some courage when they are not sure, but they know something must be done realize before they can affect any change or make any difference they must first change what they can – so they change their selves.

The only way to conquer or diminish the darkness of other people or the world is the conquer the darkness within and champion the light and the virtue within. Follow that Golden Impulse that seeks to find its higher self and to live a good life always taken humanity and the common good into their awareness of what and what not to do, think, feel or behave.

We all know right from wrong. Its what is deemed acceptable that is troubling. If belittling other people becomes accepted especially by the most powerful then we can see the trend line descend to make it acceptable for everyone. And all the work our parents did to teach us manners and to be polite goes right out the window.

We have a choice. We can find our moral center our core of truth and compassion and not allow the new normal to take hold and let this behavior continue.

The only power or control we have is what we think, feel, or behave. Me I chose freedom from the darkness. So, the work continues. I look for insight within so that I may share my light, love, empathy, and compassion for myself and the world.

 

 

A MOMENT IN TIME, AGAIN.

 

SHIELD

There is nothing as auspicious as feeling the power of a moment. Being fully present and immersing yourself in the wonderment and the magic when time all but stops and reflecting all that is bestowed upon you. It like the download finishes and the software opens all these exciting new possibilities are at your beckon call.

Imagine being totally and unequivocally in that state perpetually without end? I can. That is what I have spent most of my adult life trying to attain. Even when I was buried beneath the suffocating cloak of invisibility and depression, I still worked at achieving a better place, state of mind, lightness of spirit and depth of soul.

When the mania kicked in I grabbed it with white knuckled enthusiasm and pulled myself up to states of unbridled experiences of ecstasy. Or, was that neuro-chemical imbalance at work and play? I don’t know, but I do know that I experienced everyone moment. From the mundane to untamed sublime and beyond time was the bane of my existence, my guard and my guardian.

I felt like I did not have much time. With my specific diagnosis, I had a one in five chance of survival. I felt that I had a limited time on this plane of existence, as we all do, and I felt as if I was squandering it. I felt that I had a special purpose and that I was meant to make a difference, and so I felt like I was wasting days and burning daylight. I needed to get to work and quick.

There was a stretch there where I did not sleep at all for five days. I was writing with a fiery passion writing my magnum opus that would put mankind back on the sacred path to redemption and liberation.

I was swept up in a moment in time, again and again and again. I felt that I had the gift of insight and that I had the means to cure humanity of its ills and that I could make a difference. I had to or die trying. I have always had this gift or burden, call it what you will, that I must save the world. It is not a messiah complex. I want to do it without fanfare of recognition. I am in the moment right now. There is a slight hum, no thoughts, no concerns, no worries only the unending question in my heart and my head – How do I do it? I know why. Love. But the What and the How elude me.

What good is it being and experiencing a moment of time, again; if I cannot figure out my place and purpose in the Universe? I surmise living a virtuous life is its own reward but I need to make a difference. I was a healer and environmentalist trying to help the body and our home heal and foster good health and healing practices. But, at the end of the day one must pay the bills. So, what is a visionary who has trouble seeing a way forward, the mission and the message to do?

Well, I will continue to appreciate everything life must offer as I remain in the ever present now as I strive earnestly without hindrance until the dawn thru the darkest times never wavering in my quest to save Humanity from its collective Self.

JEFF TURNBULL

DO YOU EVER WONDER?

NO? WHY NOT?

BY: JEFF TURNBULL

2011-12-22 12.19.52

Do you ever sit and watch the sunset and let your mind wander and wonder what it would be like to…?

Have we lost our curiosity and imagination? Have the demands of our everyday lives captured all our attention and intentions? Has it sapped all our energy to fanaticize and play and experiment and to allow ourselves to be drawn to something new or novel?

I know that focus on what needs to be done can become myopic and consume a lot if not most of our time, energy, and sometimes resources. It almost feeds on us instead of giving us the satisfaction of taking care of our responsibilities.

I get it. I get sucked into black holes of attention and down rabbit holes of intention and I must remind myself to literally pull over and smell the roses.

We are always on the run taking care of business; be it work or personal activities like running the kids to soccer practice or shopping for groceries after a long day at the office. Life can deplete our reserves of getting up and go.

But we must Wonder and nurture that childlike sense of awe at things that catch our eye, call to us and speak to our hearts. We must be willing to let our hair down, be vulnerable and be open to the possibility to learn new things and try something we have always thought about but were always too busy to do, or we thought too much or talked ourselves out of it.

Do not let another day go by without opening to the miraculous events that unfold before you. Ask a question. Show an interest. Express your curiosity. Take a step toward that which shimmers and see if there is magic in the new. You never know it could change your life.

Be Mindful of Your Thoughts.

BY: JEFF TURNBULL

2014-06-20 20.39.26

There are four thoughtful practices we can apply to our thinking to help us to be more mindful and present.  They can be applied to what we think about the external world, the world at large; our interior Heart Mind world, and how we think and feel about ourselves.

  1. Stop thinking habitual negative thoughts: i.e. “I am never going to get anywhere in life”. This stinking thinking does not help.  Most of our internal dialogue – “The Critique” is negative.  Be Mindful of the habit of always seeing the proverbial glass as half empty.  Be grateful that you have a glass at all.  When you are able to monitor your thoughts and catch a negative thought arise, compassionately hit the pause button, and try to see the inverse or opposite, turn it around or upside down.  Instead of thinking that you are not “… going to get anywhere in life”.  Think or say to yourself instead – “You know, I do not need to go anywhere, because I am fine with the right here, the right now.  And, with every infinite moment, there is an opportunity to experience the best that I Am.  I have the seed of perfection incarnate”.

Attitude is a matter of Altitude.  If we can see the truth in the moment from the best possible vantage point, we can correct our coordinates to be right where we are, and be Aware and be Present.

Showing up and bringing our best self, is just a matter of Being without doing.  Be Mindful of your Thoughts and See the beauty of the World bloom.

 

  1. Stop thinking or creating new negative thoughts. “What Ifs” will only lead to catastrophe thinking, and who needs that?  We have enough to occupy our thoughts and feelings.  Awareness is what is needed.  When we begin to assemble worst case scenarios we need to hit the pause button and not be pulled into a drama that is fictitious and unsupported by facts.  If we are mindful of our inner mindscape that which is under control – our feelings and thoughts, there is no reason to wonder – “What If”.  The sky is not falling – we are rising, spread our wings and our Heart-Mind to rise and embrace any difficulties.

Create your world by imagining a world where love and compassion is the norm.  See the best in others and the opportunities in the challenges that life presents.

Reach for the sky and live amongst the clouds while your feet are firmly planted on the ground.  The Stoics have an exercise of Negative Visualization, which is imaging the worst, so if the occasion ever arises they know what it looks like, and are better to deal and control what they can control.

I say if a new negative thought comes to mind, let it pass through the gates of impermanence and say to yourself – “I shall not be moved from this beautiful by phantoms or ghosts.  I am the seed of perfection and I am in the fertile soil of all that is.”

  1. Continue to think those positive thoughts- “Today is a Great Day.”, “I got this!”, “That wasn’t as hard as I thought.” Since most of our self-talk is negative, we need to intervene in and for our own self-interest and behalf. If we thought about it, we could see a lot of our thoughts are positive; especially where there are meaning and purpose in our lives’. We love our children, our family, and friends and we want and think positive thoughts of and for them all the time.  What we need to do is broaden that out to include everything and everybody.  No, small task right?  If we bring awareness to our thoughts, and if we can catch ourselves as we think positive thoughts and try to bring that positive energy to a previous negative thought and try to recalibrate how we thought about that negative situation and see it in a new light, with a new feeling.  Take that positive “I got this!” to the negative “I will never get this right.” Try to sow the seed of possibility in the difficulty and realize that you do not have to believe everything you think, especially and foremost the negative.

Water the good seeds and good will grow.  Pull the weeds and plant the new more fruitful thoughts, and be mindful of your thoughts.

We must be aware and be mindful our thoughts, if not us then who?  I am by nature an optimist, but I get frustrated with what I Belief to be the Sure thing, the Given, but guess what, life does work that way.  There will always be curveballs and unforeseen circumstances, get over it.

Today a lost my mind laughing thinking of something that frustrated me yesterday.  I saw it for what it was – Life.  If we can bring that kind of awareness, and mindfulness to every moment we would be a lot better off.  It just takes being present.

 

  1. Create New Positive thoughts! Try to see things in a different light and from a new perspective.  It is easier to create new and exciting thoughts when we can value what and where we are.  But, before we do that we have to understand what and where we are before we can appreciate it, value it, how else can we really unless we can see what it looks like.  Creations of any kind require vision.  If you are able to create a holographic 360-degree image in your mind’s eye all the better, but if not try to feel what an amazing experience like being in the room when your child is born, or climbing Everest, or any other wonderful accomplishment feels like.  Fore, it is not just knowing, or seeing, that matters, but the feeling component.  To get to the point where we can create a new positive thought need not be a challenge, but may require the practice of not practicing, non-doing.  Opening your mind, your heart, and allow yourself to be vulnerable and to reach within whilst we reach towards others and the moon and the stars and feel the wonder that being alive, and just being can afford.

We can create a new positive thought by just gazing into a breathtaking sunset and then remembering to breathe and envision that we are that sunset we may think – “I am colorful and translucent, and span the horizon of all that is.  I am an inspiring vista and an expression of the beauty of nature and all her glory.  I am all this and so much more.”

If we could create a new positive thought every day, we all would be able to extinguish the black thoughts of negative thinking, enliven hearts, minds, spirits and create a new way of being.  We would foster in each of us the best, and the brightest that Humanity has to offer – Love, Compassion, and Caring.

 

 

 

 

THE WAY OF THE SHADOW WARRIOR.

 

 

I AM – A SHADOW WARRIOR

I have always considered myself lucky. I say that I have lived a charmed life for a reason. That is why I feel I must share my story. To live the ancient Greek maxim-“Know Thyself” is not as easy as it sounds. In addition, if one is not careful it can become an obsession and lead to a narcissistic black hole.

As a child, I was oblivious of the difficult years to come. However, I had my struggles. Looking back when I asked my father if I could talk to someone about what and how I was feeling and I was told that I had him and my mother to talk too, I see an opportunity early on where my life may have had a different trajectory. I say this to all parents who have little children who ask big questions to be mindful of their soul’s longing for answers to uncertainty and ambiguity.

It was not until I became a teenager and shared my heart with another that what would later be my lifelong nemesis began to present itself. When the seasons changed, I would find myself weeping uncontrollably. We would sit in my car and I would sob inconsolably for no apparent reason.

A few years later, I would be running amok with reckless abandon a risk to others and myself. I was dangerous to know and especially to love. My parents threw me out of the house and I ended up crashing at friends’ houses and woke up wherever I passed out. I partied hard, could not keep a job. I was lost, angry at the world and more importantly alone. My friends did not think I would make it past the age of twenty-one. I am now fifty-five.

I hope that by sharing my story of how I finally found a way out of the hell where I merely existed, if that, that I might help others. The hell I refer to was one of a chemical imbalance in my brain, learned helplessness, and a slew of bad habits. I am now at peace. I am whole. I am healthy

It is now my mission in life to help others. For those who do not have the skills and the tools or the wherewithal to change their lives’. To transform their lives’ into a life they have only thus far imagined.

It has been a long journey. One in which I would not change a thing. If I did, I would not be who I am today. I do not know what tomorrow holds; however, now I am able to deal with whatever may present itself. Life is an adventure, embrace the struggle, learn from it, and move on to live a whole and healthy life.

JEFF TURNBULL

JEFF TURNBULL

I have always considered myself lucky. I say that I have lived a charmed life for a reason. That is why I feel I must share my story. To live the ancient Greek maxim-“Know Thyself” is not as easy as it sounds. In addition, if one is not careful it can become an obsession and lead to a narcissistic black hole.

As a child, I was oblivious of the difficult years to come. However, I had my struggles. Looking back when I asked my father if I could talk to someone about what and how I was feeling and I was told that I had him and my mother to talk to, I see an opportunity early on where my life may have had a different trajectory. I say this to all parents who have little children who ask big questions to be mindful of their soul’s longing for answers to uncertainty and ambiguity.

It was not until I became a teenager and shared my heart with another that what would later be my life long nemesis began to present itself. When the seasons changed, I would find myself weeping uncontrollably. We would sit in my car and I would sob inconsolably for no apparent reason.

A few years later, I would be running amok with reckless abandon a risk to others and myself. I was dangerous to know and especially to love. My parents threw me out of the house and I ended up crashing at friends’ houses and woke up wherever I passed out. I partied hard, could not keep a job. I was lost, angry at the world and more importantly alone. My friends did not think I would make it past the age of twenty-one. I am now fifty-four.

I hope that by sharing my story of how I finally found a way out of the hell where I merely existed, if that, that I might help others. The hell I refer to was one of a chemical imbalance in my brain, learned helplessness, and a slew of bad habits. I am now at peace. I am whole. I am healthy

It is now my mission in life to help others. For those who do not have the skills and the tools or the wherewithal to change their lives’. To transform their lives’ into a life they have only thus far imagined.

It has been a long journey. One in which I would not change a thing. If I did, I would not be who I am today. I do not know what tomorrow holds; however, now I am able to deal with whatever may present itself. Life is an adventure, embrace the struggle, learn from it, and move on to live a whole and healthy life.

By thinking right, feeling appropriate and exerting a sufficient amount of will any obstacle can be a blessing to either spur us on to new and greater heights or be a vehicle for learning and change.

Energy flows where our attention goes. Focus and serving the moment will take us there and show us the way.

I WILL I AM.

JEFF TURNBULL