THE MISSION – WELLBEING

ONWARDS, INWARDS, UPWARDS.

BY: JEFF TURNBULL

wb

My Soul’s purpose is to help Neurodivergent people like me or people who may with no good luck of their own develop a brain disorder, or suffer such a terrible life event that they enter our realm and may need guidance.

Me? I was broken. I was damaged. But, it did not happen all at once. It started with a crack. To this day, I still do not know the origin of the fracture, the fault line that slowly tore me apart and left me in pieces.

I spent a lifetime trying to figure out when, how, what, where, and who? But, perhaps it was just simple chemistry. No more. It does not matter. I assembled the disparate parts and reunited them and that piece, that missing piece, the piece I keep going into the dark to find, where that missing piece, where it used to be is where the light gets in.

The light illuminated me within and then throughout and purged and cleansed and purified and lifted me up and onto a higher plane of awareness and experience. What makes music beautiful is not so much the notes as the spaces, the rests and pauses which allows us to enjoy the stillness and the emptiness so that the sound, the light may enter and occupy and enshroud the fullness of and the magnification of the All, the Divine and Universal Mind of Being.

I am grateful that I have survived, that I may help others. Because I have contemplated ending my life every day for more years than I can remember. But, now I embrace each moment. I wake each morning energized and encouraged that come what may I can handle anything, and find the positive in the negativity of a situation. See the love amongst the fearful moments and the ray of light through the darkness. I am duty-bound to take what I have learned and to help others find their way out of the shadows of oblivion and step into the light and to find their gifts, treasures, and strengths free of ego so that they may live a meaningful and purposeful life.

There can be no shadows without light and no strength without struggle and change without challenge. I believe that happiness and good can be found in the purity of love while we seek our truth. Evil is found in willful ignorance and turning a blind eye to, the absence of, and a distortion of the truth. It is for all of us to find our way through the thicket of lies, fear, hatred that is Hell, so that we may value love, light, and the truth as we deliver ourselves from the bondage of the ego.

Without the trial and tribulations that we enter along the dark highway of awakening we would never know that we are beings of light and the pilgrims of Eternity.

 

THE LUNAR ECLIPSE OF THE SOUL

 

Ends at the Dawn of Awareness.

BY: JEFF TURNBULL

image1

Lately, I have been really struggling with being present. A dark cloud had descended. A cloud of uncertainty and change. These are both usually both my optimum situations. I am most creative when things are in flux and at times chaotic. No challenge no change.

But, because it involves my responsibility and my freedom it invariably causes stress. Is it manageable? Yes, if I apply the appropriate thinking, feeling and exhort the required willing. It will all work itself out. I pride myself on being a large cat who always lands on his feet.

However, If I am not diligent and vigilant, I could fall into old patterns, habits, and tendencies and I will fall short, miss the mark, and have to work that much harder under worse circumstances to right the ship and get back to ground zero.

So, when things seem darkest it is time to turn up the heat, show up and shine, and don’t let your shadow side move in your way and block the light of creativity, identity, and purpose. The mission does not stop because the specter of difficulty looms large on the horizon. No, that is when you assert maximum effort and rise to meet the challenge.

If something seems familiar and you know the previous outcome, change your game, the game. Do not let something like a dreadful day, reversal of fortune bring you low or take you down. These are lessons. Learn from them. I spent two decades contemplating suicide every day all day. I found a reason. That reason is I was not done yet.

The sun is shining somewhere. When the weight of the world and the darkest of the darkest night of the soul is trying you. Try something new. Depression is anger turned inwards, self-loathing. We think of taking our life because we do not see anything ever changing. My cousin took his life. Another dropped off the planet. Everybody we know knows someone who just could not take it any longer.

The darkness robs us of the light. I recently went into my shadow self to do some work on myself, to do some research, to root around for something I left behind. It’s there, I know it is. But, I stayed too long and had trouble getting out. Then my physiology began to change. The old triggers were pulled and switches flipped. I was in the dark, alone.

It’s oppressive in there. I felt empty. I thought of ending it, the pull was so strong. Then I remembered. Wait… I am not done yet. I have not done what I was sent here to do. There is work that needs to be done. Work only I can do.

So enough of the poor me bullshit. Sally has sucked it up. I have put on my big boy pants. I have expressed gratitude, changed my attitude, forgiven myself, and I feel more than enough.

It has dawned on me that, If I don’t do it now, no one else will. This crazy diamond is going to shine on and work the magic, inspire greatness and heal and transform all those I encounter.