FEVER DREAMS & SILENT SCREAMS.

EVOLUTIONS GROWING PAINS.

Civility is the art and act of caring for others.

DEBORAH KING

 Why when we have so much, we decry we don’t have enough? When what should be a given has such an excessive cost? When I speak of cost – I mean our Soul, our dignity, and self-respect.

There is so much vitriol in our discourse. When I say a given – I mean our collective Humanity. I really struggle with all this negativity.

If we are ever going to reach our end point of evolution and maturity as a race, we really need to fall back and assess our priorities. If we don’t something as simple as a tweet or an off-handed comment meant to invigorate someone’s political base could end this human experiment.

When we cannot sleep at night and have nightmares and worry about our children’s future and we silently scream into our pillow or into the darkness, it is time to evaluate what it is we want from life. Do we want to be happy or right or safe or content, or grow and heal?

Seriously, it appears greed by the powerful faceless super wealthy, the donor class and shareholders take precedence over the well-being of everyone.

The wrecking ball of destruction meant to dissemble unions, fair trade, equitable pay rates and support for safe and faithful regulations have been accepted behavior by our so-called leaders.

The Animus toward the populace and the citizenry can not continue. The center will not hold. It is spinning out of control and wobbling in fits of centrifugal chaos for the last forty years, but we have been so concerned with the what have you done for me lately mentality that we slipped into a coma of our own making.

Wake up! Stand Up! Rise Up and Shine your true light of love and compassion. Put aside your petty grievances to banish the shadow within to banish and vanquish the shadow projected into our non-civil discourse, meet in the middle and join hands, and hearts and souls and let us move forward into and onto better days and better relationships with ourselves and each other

ONWARD, INWARDS, UPWARDS

Do you feel like a nobody?

BE SOMEBODY

“One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.”

Mother Teresa

Do you feel like a nobody? Like not one-person cares if you live or die? Or, listens to you? Why is that? Do you love and value yourself?

The way we care for ourselves and treat ourselves sets the example how other people communicate and interact with us. I saw a pregnant woman smoking the other day; I was aghast that she was not only harming herself and her lungs but also the child she was carrying. No, judgment – just concern.

Our interior landscape has a way of being expressed to the outside environment. What we think is expressed in words and actions and what we feel at times can be conveyed by the look on our face. Remember our eyes are our windows to our soul and at times the mirror to others’. Our behavior will always give us away. It will tell the world – “I feel like crap today and I can’t stand myself please treat me accordingly.”

If you constantly demean yourself using self-deprecating humor, at some point I am going to start thinking you are just putting yourself down. Then my personal reaction would be to look for the good in you and try to reassure you that you have valuable attributes. But, others may not be so kind. They may just add fuel to the fire and make the situation worse. Then you will be a nobody to everyone, even to those who gave you life, call you friend and sibling.

If you smoke when you are pregnant or binge drink every day and have a terrible diet you may not be aware that your values and how you feel about yourself are on display to the world. But, more importantly, you are showing no concern for your sovereignty of Self.

If we do not love our self, we have a problem. If we do not care for our self, we will make the problem worse. If we do not value our self, it is because we do not understand our self. If that is the case, then we must go back to knowing our self to be able to accept our self so that we may love our self.

Before we can move onto healing our self and then onto sharing our self, WE must truly and unequivocally love our self.

So, Know, Accept, Love, Heal, and then Share thyself whilst being mindful and meditating on areas of concern while we forgive and offer gratitude for our blessings and struggles in kind.

Onwards, Inwards, Upwards.

THE MAJESTIC FIVEFOLD WAY

“There are only two mistakes one can make along the Road to Truth- Not going all the way, and not Starting” BUDDHA

There are five conducts, behaviors, or practices that we can introduce into our lives’ if we haven’t already: Know thyself, except thyself, love thyself, heal thyself, and to Share thyself. It is a process of Self-Actualization that I undertook that helped end my struggle with Depression, Anxiety, and self-loathing. It helped me to turn my life around and made me a productive person and helped me with my interactions with the world at large, and to heal and sustain the world within.

In addition to these five conducts I have also integrated the practice of morning gratitude expressions and evening forgiveness offerings (usually to myself) but with these five and two, there is also mindfulness and daily meditation which has been very helpful in my healing and well as my personal development and personal growth.

In the posts that follow I hope to distill and explain the Alchemy of my Transformation from depressed and lost soul to Enlivened Enlightened Spirit. It will not be easy, the work that lies ahead, but it will be worth it in the end.

JEFF TURNBULL

OUR SHADOW SELF HINDERS OUR HIGHER PURPOSE.

Our shadow stands in our way and will stop us from communicating effectively and when we see an unattractive quality we don’t like in someone else that we ourselves possess we will be offended and will project our darkness and distorted behavior unto them.

The more work we do on ourselves to reclaim what was left behind in the shadows and bring light to those deep recesses of our past pain, shame and hurt the lighter and less restrained we will be.

Shining a spotlight of truth, love, and compassion into the corners of our being will help to illuminate these fears, fractures and fragmented parts of yourself so that we can integrate these powerful energies into their counterbalanced positives to help us become the person we are destined to come.

We cannot heal apart from ourselves that we don’t know is ill. I am not advocating countless retellings of past events, but to be able to look at these apertures into our souls, these wounds, and reclaim the wholeness that was lost in those moments and to replace them with what is not there with acceptive forgiveness and understanding.

This shadow work is about going deep into ourselves and vanquishing our darkest aspects and mining the depths of our hidden and forgotten treasure. It is not for the weak of heart. That is why we need to be warriors and set our fear aside and be ever vigilant and conscious of what we may discover, uncover or realize as it comes to the surface and into the bright light of awareness.

 

WE HAVE A SHADOW SELF.

Unbeknownst to some of us, there is an another that lurks within. We joke about evil twins, you may be familiar with Dr. Jekyll’s Mr. Hyde, or with a multi-personality disorder, but within there is darkness.

We hide things we don’t want others to see. We are ashamed of something or were criticized about something we banish it, lock it away. Sometimes these things fade into the deep recesses of our being, others lie just beneath the surface and don’t pass up a chance to remind us that we have banished them from the bright light of being.

Sometimes our greatest gifts and passions are discouraged and for whatever reason, we comply with others views and opinions and we enter into an unconscious agreement and we let our dreams die, and aspirations wither on the vine. In the desire to be accepted we fall in line and become part of the herd as we conceal who and what we really are.

This shadow self-comes out to express itself and play when we are stressed. Besides suppressed hopes and desires there are elements of our worst self, the darkness within, our ugly, selfish, demanding inner five-year-old; our ego writ large.

When we fear, when we doubt, when we feel that our world or beliefs are being questioned or judged our shadow is roused. When we stumble and take things personally our shadow moves to the fore and sometimes takes the floor and shows itself.

It’s like evil genii that escape from the bottle but instead of wishes, you are usually left with regrets. Even when we are at our best, if we are tired, or hungry, or suffering from a lack of sleep, this troublesome specter can slip away and get the best of us.

So, we must realize and acknowledge that it is there and that it can be a potent force; and if we are not mindful of our thinking, feeling, and our willingness to do the work at bringing our dark aspects into the light we could do something in the moment that could change our lives and alter our path and disrupt our progress. We could get fired, lose a friend, a loved one or worse.

I have personally let my shadow appear to someone I care a great deal about and say something I should not have said, something I felt, something I desired but was not appropriate then that disrupted the environment that we were in. I wanted to be more than I could under the circumstances and I fell into an old pattern. It was selfish and self-serving, and I was grandiose, and I almost lost more than I could afford to lose. Love is a powerful force but unchecked can exemplify the shadow self as well.

JEFF TURNBULL

Freedom or darkness, choose!

“Courage is the capacity to meet the Anxiety which arises as one achieves Freedom.” Rollo May

BY: JEFF TURNBULL

 We have a choice in how our world evolves. We can get involved or sit on the sidelines. Most people sit on the sidelines in their own little bubble bedecked with their proclivities and desires and if they can do what they want when they want to, you usually do not hear from them. Try and take something away and there will be hell to pay.

Now, the people to exhort some courage when they are not sure, but they know something must be done realize before they can affect any change or make any difference they must first change what they can – so they change their selves.

The only way to conquer or diminish the darkness of other people or the world is the conquer the darkness within and champion the light and the virtue within. Follow that Golden Impulse that seeks to find its higher self and to live a good life always taken humanity and the common good into their awareness of what and what not to do, think, feel or behave.

We all know right from wrong. Its what is deemed acceptable that is troubling. If belittling other people becomes accepted especially by the most powerful then we can see the trend line descend to make it acceptable for everyone. And all the work our parents did to teach us manners and to be polite goes right out the window.

We have a choice. We can find our moral center our core of truth and compassion and not allow the new normal to take hold and let this behavior continue.

The only power or control we have is what we think, feel, or behave. Me I chose freedom from the darkness. So, the work continues. I look for insight within so that I may share my light, love, empathy, and compassion for myself and the world.

 

 

ANXIETY – THE SOUL KILLER.

Freedom of responsibility is the key, not Freedom from…

JEFF TURNBULL

ANXIETY DIAGRAM

Anxiety is the space or state between freedom and responsibility. If we run from our responsibilities we are not free, we are doomed. For sure our conscience and quilt will catch up to us and pull and drag us down.

So, we must be who we are and do what we must yet manage the difficulty. That feeling that causes us stress and puts us on high alert, causing us to focus on what we cannot change in that moment. What we can change is how we think and feel about that responsibility that is coming up, on the horizon, that looms over us and dooms us to worry and sleepless nights.

When we have the freedom to choose, what we do and how we act the choice is always ours. We can let it affect our health, our behavior, our attention, and intention or we can put things in their proper perspective and reframe our way of thinking and do what we can with what we have at the moment to do our best.

When we are thinking about the future in a worrisome negative light, we end up retroactively start to regret the past. Think about it? Don’t we get sucked into the future scenarios that haven’t even happened yet and then start to turn them around and then regret something we did, say, or think that led us to the situation that we are contemplating.

When we think about the future we end us regretting the past. Usually, I believe this is the case. Personally, when I consider something troublesome that I must do, I most often think – How did I let this happen. Take credit debt for instance. If the habit of overspending money that is not yours and that you must pay back at a high rate of interest is an issue that you have to take responsibility for, you regret your overspending and a bad habit of being a shop acholic.

If we can merge our inherent freedom with our responsibility, then that space or state of the anguish of future events disappear. Sounds impossible. How can I do that? One may ask? Well, if we are forever in the moment and practice good habits and are mindful of who we are, and our environment and our behavior, we can be and take responsibility for all things in the moment and achieve equanimity. Which is dealing with all things in a calm and balanced way.

It’s possible but we must do the work. Take responsibility for all aspects of our life, show up, and do the work necessary to achieve peace and tranquility and live a virtue-driven life in this loud and at times chaotic world.