We all know when someone is throwing shade our way. Our bull shit detector goes off and we either call them on it, change the conversation, politely object, or take it…

If we can be aware in the moment we can stop, observe, learn something about the person, ourselves and human nature. If we ask ourselves – Is there any truth, even a glimmer, to what was just directed my way? If so, ask a long, deep, probing question, even at the chance of hearing something that may sting. Why not? Perhaps that person is a messenger and what they must say could radically change your life. Apply critical thinking and decipher what is being volunteered and use your gift of discernment to either refuse it, refute it or use it.

If on the other hand what is shared is total nonsense and it is coming from a place where you are not a citizen and have never visited, again ask deep, probing questions; not just a couple, but a series. Ask using both sides of the issue, use a hypothetical or two, and then turn the tables and ask that person if perhaps they forgot to couch it, or phrase what they said in – I have a friend who…

Odds are if what is being said is their STUFF, not yours. The challenge, the beauty, and the opportunity are to get to the truth, the root of the matter and find the treasure in the darkness. Do not be mean, but mean what you say. There are so many opportunities for growth that we pass on because it is uncomfortable, it hurts our feelings, or challenges our way of thinking.

If someone falls prey to their shadow odds are subconsciously they need to say something to you, but the shadow can be too direct, indirect, and clumsy in its attempt to express itself. Do not miss the chance to go deeper and mine the truth – if it is fighting that hard to be heard it could be important. Communication is everything. Yet, sometimes it is not easy.

When the darkness descends and the shadow approaches, shine your light on the matter and get to the essence of it and change a heart, a mind, a life and maybe even the world. But do not be forceful. Point the way, to the door, to the moon, and be ever vigilant to be kind, caring, and compassionate.

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